We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
