You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
