just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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