reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
