Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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