It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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