Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize