Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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