The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
