Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
