I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
