yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
