when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize