this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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