i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
