My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize