i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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