Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
