Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
