I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
