I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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