i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
