He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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