If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
do herpes really smell.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
