im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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