it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Found your dick twin last night
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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