its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
