what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
