he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
