Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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