Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
