this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
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Do I have a choice?
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all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize