nutella sex= disaster
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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