omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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