so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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