that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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