So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
