Heybabeimwearingurpanties
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
