who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
