you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
