One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
how drunk are you?
Several
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
