do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
