Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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