shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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