Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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