she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
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i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
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It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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