i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
