if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
