1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
