He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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