All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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