Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
