corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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