gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So here I am, sexting at work.
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