Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
