her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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