all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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