you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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